Broken Part 2: Mending the pieces together
So…..now here I was, standing in my kitchen. My mind is RACING with both intense negativity, and yet, this burning anger; which had turned into an undying determination to start turning my life around….PHYSICALLY. I knew I had no control over what was soon to come with my failed marriage, but I reminded myself that I DID have control over my own physical body. That aspect of my life, I knew no one could compromise…can’t f**k with free-will! Therefore, that fact gave me my first feeling of empowerment. I felt that if I got myself physically healthy that I would be strong enough to endure the pending future…..but that’s where I hit my first major roadblock. I HATED TO WORK OUT! I hated gyms because I was embarrassed, I didn’t have any money for fancy equipment, expensive personal training sessions, or popular DVD sets…..how was I going to overcome this obstacle. Every time I would try something new, within a few days, I would find a major flaw in it, and that gave me an excuse to quit, but again, becoming a “single mom”, I didn’t have the choice anymore to quit. I had to find THE way…not just another passing fit-fad!
Since I despised all of the complexities and vanity-driven standards that dwelled within the fitness community…I started there! I started with listing everything I had hated about fitness and working out and wrote out every known excuse that I knew of and had used in the past. The list pretty much looked like this:
EXCUSES TO NOT WORK OUT (Thinking convention/mainstream methods) 1.) No time! (I didn’t have a schedule that allowed me to take an hour or two without being interrupted) 2.) Too complex/Difficult for to do (at 220+lbs, my mobility was limited at that time…I tried a friend’s “INSANITY” video she brought over and nearly threw up trying to keep up!….this earned the Insanity program a massive thumbs down from me.) 3.) No money for equipment, DVD’s, trainers, or classes! 4.) I don’t like going to the gym (embarrassment/fear) 5.) Boring/Not physically/mentally motivating 6.) Hate dieting 7.) I get easily discouraged (ties into #2) 8.) I have too much prior body damage (accidents/bullies/martial arts/pregnancy…they had all taken their toll on my body.
……my initial list had about 13 or so excuses or “hates” in it, and looking at this list, made me ask, “WHERE THE HELL IS LEVEL 0 IN FITNESS?!” Everything out there just seemed to keep getting more and more complex and restrictive…..and after a day or so searching the Internet for “fitness: level 0″….I had realized, there wasn’t one. I then came across a quote by Albert Einstein and it was like getting hit by a Mack truck!
“Go the opposite way….” THERE WAS NO LEVEL 0 IN FITNESS, DESIGN LEVEL 0!! –A method that would destroy the list of excuses I had written out, as well as, a method that focused on rebuilding “broken” bodies going OPPOSITE of mainstream….SIMPLICITY. I knew I had my work cut out for me. I wasn’t going into fitness from the same perspective as the others. Therefore, I knew this method wouldn’t be like all the others, but I knew the “key” would be that magic word, “simplicity”. That realization automatically lead me to another roadblock thought, “How can physical fitness be simplistic yet EFFECTIVE?? This is where I began looking into my Taekwondo days..tapping into what I had been taught over 17 years ago; beginning with the basics!
This is my “before” picture. This is what I looked like when I began designing and putting pieces together to create Polykinetics and The SELF Method. My facial expression said exactly how my state of mind was at that time……DEPRESSED and damn near hopeless.
Before Polykinetics and The SELF Method
TAKEN: 12/24/13 — Christmas Eve. Size: 16/18
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