Updated: Aug 27
Since starting this journey, I knew almost immediately that at some point down the road, I would have to post and share videos demonstrating the Polykinetics method. I also knew how much of a problem that realization would be for someone like me. I was far from over joyed at the thought of opening myself up to potential harm that could jeopardize my MDD recovery progress.
Therefore, I would ponder for hours, days, then onto weeks to months about how to get the damn Youtube videos made without having to use myself in front of the camera. After all, I'm an instructor, not a model. --Not everyone leaps at the idea of being in the limelight as hard as that is for some people to believe.....yes, we DO exist. Camera's are serious anxiety attack triggers for me. The one time I went on T.V., I had so many panic attacks it took them an extra 30 mins to shoot the episode. I wasn't blind to how frustrated people were with me.
No joke, I have cried, yelled, had arguments with friends, and wrecked havoc all because I couldn't find a solution.
This is something I still struggle with to this day, but do my best to face head on in hopes of overcoming it once and for all.