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My advice to a “bully”……

Updated: Apr 24, 2021

On the 9Chat app, I posted randomly about being nearly bullied to death when I was younger, and how to be kind to others since we don’t know what kind of battles they are fighting ..ending with a little *hug*, and that small comment brought on a tidal wave of responses and comments; people sharing their stories and experiences, and I am trying my hardest to get through with reading all of them and writing responses to as many as I can.

Most of the posts were other bully-survivors…and I happened to come across one small comment from a teenage girl who wrote, “that awkward moment when you’re one of the bullies…”,

Now I don’t know anything more about this girl other than just her one comment, but it instantly prompted me want to tell her the story of what one of my “bullies” did for me when I was 15.

My response: “Hunny, that’s ok.  

When I was 15 (the night of my birthday party) one of my “bullies” randomly came up to me with a small group of his friends, and I was so terrified, I nearly threw up, but from no where and without front of his hot-shot friends, he said… “I am so sorry for everything I did to you, I am really, really sorry”, and I got super teary-eyed and all I could do in reaction was simply thank him because I knew the kind of courage it took for him to admit that…especially in front of his friends.

We didn't become friends, and we never spoke again after that night, but even now….16 years later, I still never forgot what that one apology meant to me; and how ultimately he ended up positively impacting my life with that one sentence”.

After getting through writing my responses to her and regaining my composure because by then …..I was dropping tears left and right, it just reminded me and hopefully taught her how the smallest things that we do to each other, and for each other can make such incredible impacts on our lives and that they have the potential to live with us always.

–I hope she understands the message I was wanting to send her, and I hope that like my “bully”, that she can find the courage to confront what she did, and that coming from a bullying-survivor… profound such an act of courage can really be.

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